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"Arbitrary Functionary" is a song by Dirk McQuickly which was included on his 1980 solo-album, White Dopes on Punk II. Featuring a unique techno beat and a famous chorus, the song was about an elected official whose role in government is unclear.

In 2014, "Arbitrary Functionary" was ranked as the 167th greatest song of all time by NME magazine. In the article, the author wrote:

“I have heard 167 songs.”
NME magazine
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